a testimony gained.... and confirmed

ok... sooo this week i went to institute... and after i left i had all these questions... like okay maybe i had been thinking the spirit was something different and then one thing lead to another and it worked its way all the way to my testimony... and i found myself doubting everything i held dear to me... and then i realized... i felt that peace while reading scriptures... and that i feel good when i do my hometeaching.. and that i have been blessed for it... and come to find out many people have been feeling that same way this week and today.... well i have GREAT NEWS!!! even though i was following the commandments and doing almost everything to the best of my abilities, i was still tempted, and i realized that i had felt those feelings and those feelings were REAL!!! they were real to me because i felt them... and while i was reading in alma 22... even though the son's of mosiah are doing everything right, even though they are preaching the gospel and are doing EVERYTHING they know to be right... they are still thrown into prison, stripped of their clothes and they were still tried... and that made me think... thats how our testimony's and everything grow... today i honestly felt like i was going to be put in a mental house because the thoughts and back and forth of my mind... but... i also read the first vision and how great of a help that was... and i went to my class.... and everything is given to us for a reason... i love this church and i know that when we do what we know is good... the lord will bless us... even bless us with trials.... but ALWAYS remeber... we can rely and trust on the lord... i love you all.... text me if you need to talk or anything... 702-858-5515

a lil' update...

so i am sure not many of you even read this so i am going to say it on here.... im going to NY.... not going to tell you when, but i have my ticket :D .... and im super pumped... i am reading the Book of Mormon... and i cannot tell you how much i am learning... i simply love that book and ALL its teachings! ya know its REALLY awesome that we have a chance to learn from the mistakes from our forefathers... and that we have such a great opportunity to be here on this earth... its opening my eyes and i cannot tell you all what i have learned... work is going AWESOME !!! i am VERY excited to for life, i have been going to the temple at least once a week... and oh man, it feels good knowing i am doing whats right and as long as i am doing that, i will be blessed :-D

the power of the atonement

just the title.... think about it... what does it mean to you?

one week

SOoOoOoO.... as i told you all last week that i have started reading the book of mormon.... i figured 5 chapters a day, and so far i have done just that, finished the 1st book of Nephi right before vacation! and started the 2nd book of nephi on my way home!!! i have learned sooo much by reading the book of mormon that help me throughout the day, i now find myself thinking about nephi and the journey he has had, i am also praying about the book of mormon and things of that nature... i feel different when i read it, it astonishes even me!!! i am learning new things left and right.. sometimes i wonder how i can even comprehend everything!!! went to knotts berry farm with amanda and family friends... oh how much fun that was!!! i had never been!!! Can't do that in NY now can ya!? i feel like i need to get a job with insurance, i need to get my stomach and other parts checked out, so i am looking for a job, i have job security in this line of work, but i am going to do my part and then ask the lord what i should do, i know if i keep doing whats right then he will keep his end of the bargain!!! i cannot wait to go back to cali!!!! i had sooo much fun!!! go to my facebook if you want to see pictures of the trip... its labelled " knotts" .... thanks for taking time to read this :D have a great day!!!

what i have learned recently

soo on sunday there was a REALLY good testimony that was given, although Amanda's testimony was great it wasn't her's, it was a guy who just shared how he started reading the book of mormon again, and how it has made a difference in his life... and then the thought kept popping into my head, i have never read it, but why??? what was my reason for not reading it? so i am going to read it within a 5-6 week period... i am going to try and finish it by september 5th, i only started yesterday, but it has helped me a lot, and its something i want to know is right, its something i have wanted to do... and now that volleyball is done with for a lil over a month, i wanna take the down time and enthrall myself in something else, something to keep my mind busy, i am VERY happy with where my life is going and i know that if i live my life right, then god will fulfill his promises and keep his end of the bargain! i know that everyday brings bew challenges, but i can face those temptations with the spirit, and that when i feel like i am down, or i feel bad that those feelings are how satan wants me to feel because the lord does not want us to feel sorrow, or anguish.... i love my life, although i may not think vegas is the best place, i can deal with two months of extreme heat, and i have soo much to be thankful for, a roof over my head, and shoes under my feet, forever loving eyes staring back at me... its gonna be alright, alright, alright..... :D

this week

so, this past week i have definately done a lot of thinking, and a lot has happened.... i will be getting my fire extinguishers license, while things are working out in the job department, things are also working out in the spiritual department, its quite cool how listening becomes easier as you do it more and more.... make the right choice once and it becomes easier with time... and things are just really looking up, i feel my testimony growing oh soo much, and i am starting to find the truth in things and it is way cool to learn, i am trying to keep this spirituality going on a constant thing!!! i really miss NY!!!!! this upcoming weekend tim and amy are coming into Utah!! CANT WAIT TO SEE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

WOW... what a weekend

sooo this past weekend i went up to see family in Salt Lake. It was a blast and i went to the Hogle Zoo, which was awesome. I decided to drive up during thursday night... which was awesome, i saw two brand new ford raptors, which were just frickin awesome!!! i spent friday and saturday with eric and lisa and their kids! i feel like a part of their family when i am with them, living with them helped me sooo much!!!! i cannot thank them enough, and not to mention natalya was my best friend last summer, and oh my how fast she has grown!!! Skyler is getting bigger, and so is his smile... i love skyler, he always has a smile on his face, and he doesnt have a care in the world, whenever i think about skyler i cry for some reason... and natalya... who knew a girl could talk soooo much and say gooze fraba like that!!! she is growing up WAY tooo fast... it hasn't even been a year since i left!! i guess she is keeping my room clean and telling her mom to stay out of "justin's room!!" i have missed them a lot! and i cannot wait to see tim and amy!!! i cannot wait to have amanda meet them as well.. i think amy and her family will do just great at making amanda feel at home... My Grandparents and just everyone, i cannot wait to see you!!! and well so on sunday i picked amanda up from the airport and she drove back with me from salt lake on sunday!!! and i am sooo glad that she did, we had a blast on the ride home!! we had some VERY good talks, and we agreed that next time we are going to go to church ... even if its only to sacrament, we noticed the difference of going to church and not, and we agreed that next time things will be a lil different, we made great time on the way home, we were in saint george 3 hours after leaving salt lake!!! and things are going just great!!! life is going great and nothing has changed since last week really... i am just excited to see tim and amy and the kids!!! its going to be great!! i do need to go back to NY for a visit sometime... anyone got any suggestions on when and who i should bring??? well i know who i want to bring... but today i am going to play some wall-e-ball and then get lunch with amanda, then make my way over to the dealership to see what they can do for me... :D HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! THANKS FOR READING

for the 4th....

for the fourth of july i had an AWESOME friend come visit!!! we had sooo much fun this weekend!!! talking about things.... our normal car drives, talking about life and whats going on in our lives!!! i have been reading the Preach my gospel book, what an awesome book that is.... i have actually been studying it more than just reading it!! i am focusing on the Christlike attributes, its really helping me a lot!! it helps give you things to think about, kinda tells you things you might not know!! i love reading that book!!! anyways, this weekend i went and saw transformers again with nicole, my mom and my cousin nikki, we all had a blast, then went to my friend braydons house and watched the city fireworks!!! it was actually a GREAT show this year!!! and then we were driving the freeway and could see the strip fireworks... it was actually PRETTY AWESOME!!!! then went to amanda's house and swam and watched a movie, the movie was good... nicole got pretty friendly with this guy... and she seems happy so thats all that matters... i am quite happy for her!! as for me... i am working my way to the temple!!! trying to get back to NY.... but New York will be in Utah this weekend!!! and i am going to see family!!! i cant wait to see nicole.... Eric and Lisa and their kids.... with the new ADDITION!!!! YAY!!!! well i am going to play volleyball and go to the gym!!!

how many did you cause

So I have tried to use technology to my advantage when it comes to church. I have started using the notes application on my ipod, writing notes throughout church. Whatever i feel should be written down, or if i can type that fast. Today's post doest come from a note taken on a talk... but rather a hymn... I dont know the name of the hymn... but it was Hymn 192 and the second verse says "He shed a thousand drops for you, A thousand drops of precious blood." I read scriptures with my friend troy every once and a while, and we got talking about the atonement and how we keep him in our mind... and use the atonement. But Troy said something one day that really hit me... he said " how many drops will you cause him?" and that has stuck with me EVER since that moment. I know we all sin.... but as we strive to better ourselves and others we gain a light in our eyes and people see that! As we do whats right sinning becomes less and less in our lives... sinning becomes harder for us to do. And i can tell you that this is true from experience. I have seen this change in my own life! I have been trying to become better as far as writting on here more frequently. Things with my job have REALLY looked up... I mean REALLY looked up!! I realized today that I need to go back to New York... just for a brief moment... I long for my cousins, for my family there, I miss all of them sooo sooo much!!!! :D

just a lil light on the subject

with the divorce rate a mere 72% it came across my mind that maybe divorce is the easy way out or that people use it as an excuse.... I understand that things happen in a relationship, and I got talking with my grandpa about how so many people get divorced, and he had some VERY good points.... He told me that hollywood has ruined love and how we see it. That we see the guy kiss the girl once... and then she hops in bed with him. And that is most definately not how it works. Nor is that how it should ever work. He also explained to me that people often feel that everything in a relationship should go smoothly. Once again I know certain things happen.... but he said " yeah your grandmother could get angry and upset.. and would sometimes throw fits... but i loved her, and i miss her." he continued to go on about how people tend to think that if things get rough or its not all happiness all the time then they up and leave. He exclaimed to me that " when you marry someone its not through all the good times, its ALL times, and we need to keep that in mind." I often worry that the same will happen to me, but then I realize those thoughts are not of the lord... they are from satan, and I know if I do my best to my partner and she does her best to me, then we can make it!!! I love you all. And I am not trying to say I want to get married.... I honestly dont care when I get married, because its not about WHEN you get married... its about WHO you marry... just some light that i have kinda had this week.... :D ALL NIGHT VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT ON SATURDAY!!!!!!

series of VERY fortunate events...

so this week has been off to an AWESOME start!!!!!! i realized a few things when i got talking about my past with a friend, i got remembering what i felt like when i was on my spiritual high life... i remembered what i was doing and how i felt, while last week my whole life seemed to come crashing down, i decided i was tired of feeling like crap... and i want to change my life for the better, i want my life to have standards and meaning, after my friend and i talked and confided in eachother, we decided on sunday that we were going to get back to where we were as far as spirituality, we want to feel worthy and put forth the effort to get us back where we were, where choosing the right was a subconscious thought.... so we decided to read out of the preach my gospel book, we read the 4th chapter, which is on the holy ghost, how to listen and how he will speak to us, it was AWESOME!!! i have never cried while reading such powerful scripture. another thing that occured to me was that i bore my testimony a lot more, so maybe thats what is missing, cause i know when you bear your testimony it tends to grow a lot. so i am going to try and do that..... i know its going to take effort... and i am willing to put forth that effort so i can change... so i can make my life right and so it can be where i need it to be, where i can have an ultimate strength, and most of my weaknesses... i realized i have to make some decisions that just need to be made.... this week is going much better compared to last week, much much better.... we are currently reading christlike attributes... and as we do that i know we will both be strengthened, and we will both gain a lot from reading, we read sundays and wednesday's that way our week is evenly filled with the spirit.... i know we will see the change that needs to occur in our lives if we keep doing whats right we will see the change... i love you all... and i want everyone to know that you have all helped me along the way one way or another!!!! hope you all see the happiness and peace in your lives as i am seeing in my own..... :D smile

well its a new start

a new blog for a new start!!! I want everyone in my life to know that you have all helped me in one way or another, and I love you all.... I am looking forward to what the future holds for all of us! I miss everyone back in New York.... family especially... and I cant wait to visit!!! but things are lookin up for me out here... I am excited for this new step I am taking in my life